FLIP flip FLIIIP

Hellllooooo my stalkers!
Sorry... that was a bizarre start to this blog entry... BUT this has been a bizarre week!! Last week was absolute madness!!
Firstly... WE GOT THE VISA's TO THE OUTREACH LOCATION THAT I"M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT!! :D
I'm actually so stoked! Myyy goodness! It was a legit miracle how it happened... especially for Kyle... (who is American) and this means that generally they have a hard time getting visa's to the place we are going! BUT he got one! :D PRAISE GOD!!

THEN we had this thing that the boys did for us, then on Thursday we had a little base concert where all the music and worship students and staff performed their songs... AND THEN the weekend was spent at a recording studio in Hamilton recording our songs!! So the week was also very full of practicing and writing and singing and stuff!!
My song is called "Not my Love Song"... basically because it's not my love song! I went to try and write a love song to God that expressed how much he means to me, but I couldn't find the words to express it... and then God kind of gave me the revelation that he's singing over me! and that's totally His merciful and gracious love!

Here are the lyrics:
I just want to write You a love song that conveys
Just how much You mean to me
But  I can't find the words to say

Then something incredible occurs
That in my mess I don't deserve
The God who died for me
Could sing a song of love over me

CHORUS:
"You are my princess
All beautiful you are to me
You are my bride
Come away, come away with me"

What is this love so faithful in spite of me
There's only one thing left for me to do
I kneel before You my King

Then something incredible occurs
As I'm kissing the feet of the one who set me free
The God who died for me
Would gladly choose to say to me

CHORUS

And there's nothing I can give that's worth anything to You
Yet You exchange these ashes for Your beauty
Yeah, there's nothing I can give that's worth anything to You
Yet You exchange these ashes for Your beauty

And the God who died for me
Would gladly sing to me...

CHORUS

And THAT is basically the whole song! Just imagine a little bit of guitar in there... some beautiful box drum percussion played by the spectacular Jacob! Aaaannnd some ravishing violin played be the incredible Elisa and you have it!!

So Yeah... through all the hectic-ness of last week, God was still revealing Himself to me in His beautiful loving nature !

Basically he was telling me stuff about my identity in Him.... and about the plans that He has for me and the journey that we've got together... God is so good! haha and knows me SOOO well... He actually took me on a walk! Showing me this little river walk that I've never noticed before.. God told me to go on this walk... So I did! Some of the part were so beautiful! Some where muddy (and I was wearing Marit's shoes... DANG it!) and there was one interesting part where I thought I was going to fall off the bank into the river!! But I got to the end and came into this beautiful field with long grass and this spectacular sunshine shining golden  through the trees! I felt God say to me (super clearly!) This is what your journey with me is going to look like! There will be parts where God is so evident and beautiful! and parts where you legitimately question whether you are doing the will of God (muddy!) and some parts that are just down right scary!! But God told me that in the end it will be beautiful! and that He will be with me all along the road! to TRUST Him!!

So yeah... that was awesome! Myyyy goodness... And other stuff like that!!

BUT THIS WEEK... myy word!! God has been convicting me like crazy! We have Mark Parker speaking on the Lordship of Christ and God is mooovvviinng! Today... Matt K had a picture for me of a hedgehog... it was in ball and birds were trying to peck at it, and it was going tighter and tighter into this ball... Then God said "Open up and reveal the underside" So the hedgehog rolled over and revealed it's soft unprotected belly and the birds were about to try and attack it, but then the power of God came and just destroyed the birds...

It sounds kind of weird... but this picture had me in tears....

This is basically what God is doing in me at the moment... I feel like there is all this stuff on the inside of me that I don't let people see... Sin and fears and attitudes which I'm so scared that people will judge me for and that I'll be hurt or destroyed or stomped to the ground if I show... But God is challenging me... bit by bit... to lay myself down... to be vulnerable and completely open even if that person (which it is!!) is totally broken and scared and so NOT perfect!

So yeah.. God is in the process of bringing things into my heart which I would normally keep to myself and getting me to confess them publicly... Which is actually the most humbling thing! And means that these walls are in the process of crumbling down! Thankyou Lord! I want to be in absolute and complete surrender to God... All my rights and entitlements and will and everything! That is basically what this week is about... which is a mixture of scary and ... BRING IT ON GOD!!

We leave for outreach in ten days......
AAHHH!
What??!!
WHAT!!!??
I still don't even have all of my fees!!
the time is going way too fast!

The pity is... is that while I'm overseas I'm not allowed to update this blog where I'm going, so It will appear that I've disappeared off the face of the earth for a couple of months.... Sorry.

But that's not for another ten days... so lets just enjoy this time together :)

Peace out